motherhood

The gift

Paula's meditation

There is a gift I must give, out of my deep love. I want to give of my flesh and my blood. I want to give the most precious thing that is possible for a woman to give — the gift of life. Not to be remembered, not for personal gain, but purely to give.

I am under no illusions, I believe. I know that this thing will involve some great sacrifice. I know that people may revile me and say all sorts of dreadful things about me, condemn me in the most complete terms. Some may want to hound me out of their community, I may even lose my precious service as Eucharistic Minister, but this I will bear, for love.

For the act of giving, and for what I give, many will think I am wrong. I think, no, I am sure, that if all is done out of selfless love and there is no greed and no taint of evil, then there is no sin. I have found others of religious conviction who agree with me, one or two who have agonised as I have agonised.

I submit these thoughts to you, my God, so that I may show my commitment to this course of action, and demonstrate that I have considered deeply and long. I know what I am doing. And now, in humility and respect for the life we are creating, I go to begin the giving. Forgive me.